CrashingTheGoalie

by desertdawg

Well, there goes the column I was going to write! I admit, it wasn’t particularly original…something like The Return Of The King.

Okay, so I wasn’t the only guy going all-in on Luongo.

Did I have nagging doubts?

Well, there was the way we’ve been playing. Comparing it to famous scenes in horror movies…gee, that’s clever. Writing a column on superstition…well, it engaged some of the fans.

But how can you explain the horrible way we’ve been playing?

It is my theory of remarkable consistency. Every decision we make is wrong. We hesitate when we should be advancing the play without thinking. We leave the zone when we should be staying behind. We circle in the zone instead of advancing the puck. We pass it up the middle when we should be dumping it out along the boards. When we finally make a good pass or a nice play…zap, we shoot it at the pads. Every decision we’ve made is just so wrong. Every one. And it is remarkably consistent.

Which is why it all seems akin to magic. Black magic. Bad joss. What pagan diety did we offend? Why is it that everything…and I mean everything…that we do is somehow the exact wrong thing to do?

Like George Castanza, every instinct we’ve had is wrong.

Plain wrong. Epic wrong. Fail wrong. For example, the Coyotes can’t score on the PP. Second worst in the league they are. And of course, our main PK specialist, Ryan Johnson, is back from injury…and they score two PP goals to utterly bury us. We just need a second line center, so we sign Sundin…doesn’t cost us any assets mind you…we are the envy of every team in the NW.

And we proceed to just poop the bed.

Our captain, the best goaltender in the world, finally returns after 23 games and BAM! It’s like a rep team against a house team. Every time we shoot we see nothing but goal pads.

Remarkably consistent.

So how does this change? Well, let’s not jump off the bridge just yet, folks. This is essentially the same team that won all those games earlier in the season. The same goaltender that recorded all those shutouts. So what’s the answer? Well, the conventional wisdom goes something like…we need to get back to basics. We need to simplify the game. Play safe conservative hockey. It starts in our own end. It starts from the goal line out. It is team play.

Well, that and some magic. Yep, we need some magic. We need someone to come up with that ethereal dust that inspires the team to play with confidence. Wave the magic wand and suddenly the decision making turns 180 degrees.

We’ll start to click, I‘m sure of it. We’ll start to score from the dirty zone again. We’ll clear the front of our own net and fire the puck up to the breaking winger. The behind the back pass will be on the tape. The shooter will see nothing but net. And the shots from the point will once again find their way to the net, causing either a juicy rebound or a goal.

It is magic. I’ve seen it too many times. Someone, all of us maybe, just need to wave the wand. Sure, I know it starts with team. It is commitment and belief in oneself and one’s teammates. So don’t jump off the bridge. Pull out the rabbit’s foot instead. Or the lucky penny. Or whatever talisman that worked for you in the past. We need that now. So don’t just sit there. Do something.